Zorba Paster: A Natural Remedy For Treating Nasal Congestion? Sinus Up!

Guess how many calls we get in our office this time of year for sinus congestion? Lots and lots of them. And everybody wants an antibiotic — even when my office partners and I tell them there is a 98 percent chance their problem is viral, not bacterial.

Even in cases where there is a significant fever over 101 degrees, the chances that it’s bacterial are minimal. The snot can be green and yellow, thick and yucky — it’s still probably viral.

But the idea that a pill might do the trick survives.

So the right answer is to try to get this gunk out of your sinuses using natural techniques right away — so it won’t linger and you won’t be tempted to request (or in some cases insist) on an antibiotic you don’t really need.

That’s where the neti pot fits in. You fill this nifty Aladdin-lamp-like device with a saline solution, tilt your head sideways and pour. The result is a slow cleansing in the back of your nose, irrigating the opening of your sinuses, letting the mucus flow. Just like you clean your floor with a mop, this mops up the mucus you don’t need back there.

But for some people, this is not enough. They need a super-charged cleaning method that puts the neti pot to shame. That’s why my good friend Joe (last name not included, but you know who you are) invented what we’ll call Joe’s turbo neti. Here’s where this new, non-machine, “modern” folk remedy — all folk remedies don’t have to be from grandma — fits in.

For years, Joe suffered from congestion and a chronic post-nasal drip that made his life miserable. Doctor after doctor couldn’t offer him a remedy that would fit the bill. And that’s when Joe’s creative entrepreneurial spirit kicked in. If they couldn’t solve his problem, he’d try to solve it himself.

And with that — drum roll, please — I present Joe’s fix for all you sinus suffers out there.

First, grab some salt; any salt will do, but when I do this I prefer kosher because free-flowing, non-caking salt such as Morton’s contains other ingredients to make it flow — calcium silicate with a tiny touch of sugar.

Take a half teaspoon of salt and put it in two to three ounces of water, about a quarter of a cup. Swish it around to dissolve, then fill your cupped palm with some of this high-dose saline mixture.

Now, here’s the key: Put your cupped hand, with just a teaspoon of the saline solution, up to your nose and vigorously and aggressively snort it up into one nostril. Suck it up with as much strength as you can muster. Snort in more air repeatedly.

Your natural nasal-sinus reflex will be to snort it out, expelling it into the sink — did I mention to do this over the sink in the bathroom? You are clearing your entire throat.

Don’t be afraid of the sound you make, which will be similar to a rutting wildebeest (Joe’s words, not mine). Anyone who might be listening at the bathroom door will think something awful is going on. Make sure you tell them before you start that you are not dying.

Now repeat the process with the other nostril.

According to Joe’s cure, you need to do this several times on each side — bending a bit differently with each nostril suck — so you clean the entire sinus cavity. Side to side, back to forward, left to right.

Whew! What’s happening? You are scouring the back of your nasal passages with a high-pressure salt solution dissolving the gunk, allowing you to breathe free and clear.

This self-management of sinuses has made many a Joe better. Since he started his daily turbos, his life has improved immensely.

With Joe’s turbo neti, a new day has dawned in the natural treatment of sinus aliments, acute and chronic. Anyone with a drippy nose might want to try it.

And if I get enough emails, I’ll do a YouTube video, with me front and center, to show all of you how well this works. Stay well.