Memorial Day Meaning Not Forgotten By Those Who Lost Children In Combat

Memorial Day is set aside to remember and honor those who lost their lives while serving in the armed forces. The meaning of the day is particularly important for parents who lost a child in combat overseas.

Brian Jopek of Minocqua was back only eight months from a tour of duty in Iraq when he got the news. His son Ryan had been killed near Mosul, where Brian had also served. It was August 2006.

“It’s every day, every minute, every hour. It doesn’t go away. There isn’t a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t think about my boy,” Jopek said.

Like his father, Ryan Jopek served in the Wisconsin Army National Guard. Brian retired in 2011 as a staff sergeant after serving 21 years. Ryan was killed at the age of 20 as a member of the 2nd Battalion, 127th Infantry Regiment. He was promoted to sergeant following his death.

“He had kind of a goofy grin,” Brian remembered. “He was a very smart kid. He was getting straight-A’s in trig when he was sophomore in high school. And he was always there for his brother and sister.”

Ryan’s unit was scheduled to return home, but he volunteered for one last mission to Mosul, “because he wanted to see some of what I had seen in 2004 when I was there,” Brian said.

On the way back, a roadside bomb detonated near Ryan’s convoy. He was the only one killed.

To Brian Jopek, Memorial Day isn’t about picnics and barbecues, or even about veterans like him. It’s about those who didn’t make it back.

“Memorial Day sales, that stuff drives me up a wall,” Brian said. “When I hear ‘Happy Memorial Day,’ I think if somebody’s passed away and you’re at a funeral, would you say ‘Happy Funeral?’”

“I’m a veteran. I’m a gold star dad. I lost a kid over there,” Brian said. “When I see people not thinking about anything but going to the beach, or loading up the boat with beer and what have you, and not really thinking about what the day is supposed to mean, yeah, it’s a little annoying.”

Brian Jopek is the news director for the Lakeland Times in Minocqua. On Memorial Day, he will spend the morning photographing ceremonies for those lost, and then hold a service of his own for Ryan.

“I’ll see my boy and spend some time with him, maybe smoke a cigar when I’m sitting there at the grave,” Brian said.