Experts: Let children lead the discussion when talking about school shootings

Just before 11 a.m. Monday, a 15-year-old student at Abundant Life Christian School in Madison began shooting classmates and staff. 

A second grade teacher called 911 to report the incident and within three minutes the first officer entered the building. 

Three people are dead, including the shooter — Natalie “Samantha” Rupnow — and a teacher and teenage student who have not yet been identified. Six other people were injured, two critically.

But the teacher’s quick thinking likely saved lives. 

During a press conference Monday, Barbara Wiers, director of elementary and school relations at Abundant Life, praised the school for being prepared in an emergency. 

“They were clearly scared when they realized, when we practice, we always say, ‘This is a drill.’ When they heard lockdown, and nothing else, they knew it was real,” Weirs said. “But they handled themselves brilliantly, and our faculty — kudos to them for following the protocols keeping their students safe.”

Since the Columbine High School shooting in 1999, active shooter simulation drills in schools have become as common as fire drills. 

Stacy Eslick, executive director the Wisconsin School Counselor Association, said the drills aren’t meant to be traumatic but rather prepare schools for events like what happened at Abundant Life. 

“That means having our eyes open, paying attention to how students are responding and also working in collaboration with our families and educators in the building so if we notice something is going on, we can minimize trauma as much as possible,” Eslick said. 

There is debate among mental health professionals about how much information should be shared with children. Or if active shooter drills should be conducted. 

In October, President Joe Biden signed an executive order creating a multi-agency effort to develop guidelines and share resources to make active shooter drills safer and more effective.

“Even just a fire drill is traumatic for so many kids — the flashing, the lights, the noises,” said Melani Fai, who spent 30 years as an elementary school counselor in the La Crosse School District. “It is good to practice fire drills and tornado drills, because those are natural occurrences. I really have a problem practicing someone evil entering our buildings and trying to hurt us.” 

Talking to children and families after a shooting

Madison Police Chief Shon Barnes said Rupnow’s motives were likely a “combination of factors” that are still being probed.

While the investigation continues, parents across Wisconsin had to send their children back to school. 

Eslick said just the act of doing so is brave. But it is important for caregivers and children to know school shootings and other such dangers are rare. But she said families should allow children to react to news of events like the Madison shooting, saying their feelings can vary over time. 

“There’s not going to be just kind of one response, so that willingness to really sit down and and let your child know that it’s OK if you’re worried or it’s OK if you’re not feeling safe or are feeling sad,” Eslick said. “Just let them know you are open and available to talk to them.” 

Fai said adults should let children lead the discussion instead of being told things they are not emotionally or developmentally ready to hear. 

“If we expose children to information before they’re emotionally and physically ready to handle it, they don’t have a place for that, and it just turns into anxiety,” Fai said.

Office of School Safety sees increase in reports

Since Monday’s shooting the Wisconsin Department of Justice’s Office of School Safety has gotten an increase in reports of potential school attacks.

Trish Kilpin, director of the office, says that’s common. 

When people hear of an incident, they think about concerns they might have and report them, Kilpin said. 

Since its launch in September 2020, the office has had more than 300 reports of potential school attacks.

From September 2023 through August 2024, there were 5,000 calls to the tip line. That’s a 40 percent increase over the previous school year.

Kilpin cautioned against making assumptions about Rupnow before the investigation is complete. 

She said media reports of school shooters often portray the perpetrator as someone who was seeking revenge after being bullied. 

That is often not true, and the narrative glamorizes the shooter, contributing to contagion, Kilpin said. 

This phenomenon started after the Columbine shooting and has continued. But investigations have shown many of the school shooters follow the same blueprint, she said. 

“What we know is that they become preoccupied with this fixation they have on conducting the school shooting,” Kilpin said. “And when they progress on that pathway, and they enter into that ideation and fixation phase, it’s often about really extreme, overvalued beliefs that they have, that they feel. They (feel they) have been maltreated. They feel in some ways superior and deserving of more, and it’s often accompanied by espousing hate.”

Police say they can’t confirm the authenticity of a manifesto attributed to Rupnow that’s been circulating on social media.

Kilpin has not reviewed the manifesto.

She cautioned against a societal tendency to believe shooters snap. She said these events are well-planned and often mimic each other.