{"id":296487,"date":"2024-12-05T04:45:00","date_gmt":"2024-12-05T10:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/?p=296487"},"modified":"2024-12-05T05:44:45","modified_gmt":"2024-12-05T11:44:45","slug":"healing-survivors-clergy-abuse-priests-bridges-dialogues-awake-milwaukee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/news\/healing-survivors-clergy-abuse-priests-bridges-dialogues-awake-milwaukee","title":{"rendered":"‘Longing for healing’: Survivors of clergy abuse and non-offending priests come together"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Two years ago, Sally dropped a letter in the mail, never expecting a response. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Three pages long and handwritten, it was addressed to a leader in the Catholic church who had sexually abused her from when she was 17 until 19. When she sent the letter, she was 56 years old and had never spoken about the abuse to anyone. Not even her husband. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the letter, Sally described the burden she had been carrying for decades. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One week later, she received a response. The abuser asked to apologize in person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u200b\u200bThose words of, ‘Will you meet me so I can look at you in the eyes?\u2019 just put a fire in me,\u201d Sally told WPR\u2019s \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/shows\/wisconsin-today-2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Wisconsin Today<\/a>.\u201d \u201cI got really angry because I thought, \u2018He doesn’t want to actually apologize. He just wants to placate me and make sure I don’t go any further with this.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sally, who has been given a pseudonym to protect her identity, spent the next two years trying to hold the priest, the bishop and what felt like the entire Catholic church accountable for the abuse. She says she was met with only denial from the church, which showed little interest in stripping the priest of his ministry license. In 2022, the priest resigned from his ministry positions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sally\u2019s relationship with the Catholic church \u2014 a place she once found community and refuge \u2014 will never be the same. A Catholic for most of her life, she had worked for the church for 30 years. She now shudders when she sees someone wearing a white clergy collar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But in October, Sally found herself in a virtual room with seven people; three survivors of clergy abuse, three non-offending priests and a moderator. She was participating in a new <a href=\"https:\/\/www.awakecommunity.org\/bridge-dialogues\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Bridge Dialogues program<\/a> started by the Milwaukee-based survivor support and advocacy organization, Awake. And for once, she found something that she had been looking for all these years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cA<mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-almost-color\">s victim-survivors, o<\/mark>ur experience is not validated,\u201d Sally said. \u201cWe feel guilty, we feel shame, we want to hide it, we think it’s our fault. But for somebody just say, ‘I believe you, I stand with you and I hear you’ \u2014it seems so simple, but it’s a huge shift.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1708\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY03-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-296574\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY03-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY03-scaled.jpg?width=1200&height=801&fit=bounds 1200w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY03-scaled.jpg?width=768&height=512&fit=bounds 768w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY03-scaled.jpg?width=1536&height=1025&fit=bounds 1536w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY03-scaled.jpg?width=2048&height=1366&fit=bounds 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Sally holds her phone Thursday, Nov. 21, 2024, in Wisconsin. <em>Angela Major\/WPR<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-program-aims-to-alleviate-harm-caused-by-church\">Program aims to alleviate harm caused by church<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Sara Larson, Awake\u2019s founder, said the program aims to help abuse victims heal. It involves dialogue and active listening. She called it a slow, peaceful process where survivors have an opportunity to share and non-offending priests are listening. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is based on restorative justice principles, which bring together offenders and survivors of crimes. Often, the offender is the Catholic church as a whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Larson said survivors of clergy abuse rarely have access to their abusers and many do not want to interact with them. But the additional layer of harm caused by the church in denying abuse allegations can be just as painful, Larson said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2127\" height=\"2111\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-296584\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg 2127w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg?width=150&height=150&fit=bounds 150w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg?width=1200&height=1191&fit=bounds 1200w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg?width=768&height=762&fit=bounds 768w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg?width=1536&height=1524&fit=bounds 1536w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Sara-Headshot.jpg?width=2048&height=2033&fit=bounds 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2127px) 100vw, 2127px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Sara Larson founder of Awake. <em>Photo courtesy of Sara Larson<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThere is this longing for healing with the place that is or was their spiritual home,\u201d she said. \u201cI would also say that oftentimes, we as a church and as a culture have not been attentive to the spiritual wounds that come from religious abuse.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Awake, founded in 2019 by a group of Catholics in Milwaukee, has grown to a national organization with volunteers and allies. And although there are many restorative justice programs for survivors of violent crime, few exist for survivors of clergy abuse, Larson said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even as the number of abuse reports continue to grow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bishop-accountability.org\/accused-by-state-wi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">online database<\/a>, 227 faith leaders in Wisconsin have been accused of abuse. Since 1950, more than <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bishop-accountability.org\/AtAGlance\/USCCB_Yearly_Data_on_Accused_Priests.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">7,000 faith leaders<\/a> have been accused nationally, which represents 5.9 percent of all priests. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, David Pooler, director of the Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse Advocacy and Research Collaborative at Baylor University, said that because a lot of abuse goes unreported, the numbers are likely much higher. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1610\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY01-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-296572\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY01-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY01-scaled.jpg?width=1200&height=755&fit=bounds 1200w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY01-scaled.jpg?width=768&height=483&fit=bounds 768w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY01-scaled.jpg?width=1536&height=966&fit=bounds 1536w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY01-scaled.jpg?width=2048&height=1288&fit=bounds 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Sally cycles on a road path Thursday, Nov. 21, 2024, in Wisconsin. <em>Angela Major\/WPR<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-whole-thing-could-burn-down\">\u2018The whole thing could burn down\u2019<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>During the first official Bridge Dialogues program in October, participants met in a virtual room. After introductions, the moderator asked two important questions of survivors: How are you feeling as we begin today’s conversation? How has the abuse impacted your life and your spiritual journey?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As Sally was in the virtual waiting room for her first Bridges Dialogue program, she was skeptical, scared and angry. At this point in her life, she wanted nothing from the church that had betrayed her over and over again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That is what she told other participants in the meeting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThe whole thing could burn down and I wouldn’t care, because maybe that’s the only way to rebuild it with healthy structures,\u201d she remembers saying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And in that moment, looking into the eyes of leaders of the same institution that had denied her abuse and fought to cover it up, the priests in that virtual room nodded in agreement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThey didn’t judge me. They weren’t horrified. They didn’t reprimand me or put their hand over their mouth in exasperation,\u201d she said. \u201cThey just listened and were like, \u2018I get it.\u2019 That was a moment of truth for me.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And now Sally can say what she truly wants \u2014 that\u2019s to be seen and validated, and for the church to take responsibility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1708\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY02-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-296573\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY02-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY02-scaled.jpg?width=1200&height=801&fit=bounds 1200w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY02-scaled.jpg?width=768&height=512&fit=bounds 768w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY02-scaled.jpg?width=1536&height=1025&fit=bounds 1536w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY02-scaled.jpg?width=2048&height=1366&fit=bounds 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Sally, an avid cyclist, puts her bike back in her garage Thursday, Nov. 21, 2024, in Wisconsin. <em>Angela Major\/WPR<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-priest-brings-lessons-back-to-congregation\">Priest brings lessons back to congregation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-black-almost-color\">Father Javier Rodr\u00edguez of St. Francis of Assisi Parish and St. Benedict the Moor Parish in Milwaukee, remembers his reaction the first time he heard through Bridges a survivor talk about how abuse damaged their life.\u00a0<\/mark><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThey weren’t only abused physically, but emotionally and mentally because of the way they were treated afterwards,\u201d he said, feeling both sad and angry by how the person was treated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rodr\u00edguez brought the sentiments and lessons from the meeting to his parish in Milwaukee. During a Sunday homily, where he shares reflections on the scripture, he talked about how people of the Catholic church have to be vigilant in regards to clergy abuse. People need to read the signs and speak up when abuse is discovered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pewresearch.org\/religion\/2019\/06\/11\/americans-see-catholic-clergy-sex-abuse-as-an-ongoing-problem\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">A 2019 Pew Research study<\/a> found that just 24 percent of people who regularly attend religious services say they have heard their clergy speak out in support of victims of sexual abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Prior to the program, Rodr\u00edguez said he didn\u2019t think he knew anyone who had been abused by clergy. He told congregants that the person sitting next to them in the pews could be a survivor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAfter one of the masses, someone came up to me and opened up,\u201d Rodr\u00edguez said. \u201cThat person had been abused.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A 2015 study shows<a href=\"https:\/\/socialwork.web.baylor.edu\/research\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> between 50 and 66 percent <\/a>of abuse victims continue to attend church. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In spite of their injuries, the author says, most survivors want and need a spiritual community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rodr\u00edguez had always felt that the Catholic church as an institution could only heal as individuals heal. Bridges cemented that concept in his mind. He hopes other church leaders talk about the problem of abuse more often. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1708\" src=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY05-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-296576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY05-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY05-scaled.jpg?width=1200&height=801&fit=bounds 1200w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY05-scaled.jpg?width=768&height=512&fit=bounds 768w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY05-scaled.jpg?width=1536&height=1025&fit=bounds 1536w, https:\/\/www.wpr.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/241121_SALLY05-scaled.jpg?width=2048&height=1366&fit=bounds 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Sally ties her hiking shoes Thursday, Nov. 21, 2024, in Wisconsin.<em> Angela Major\/WPR<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-a-continued-relationship-with-the-divine\">A continued relationship with the divine<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Sally, who is a mother and life coach, continues to heal from the abuse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She doesn\u2019t identify as Catholic, but considers herself a very spiritual person. She meditates daily and prays often to a God; a God she considers a healthier version than the one taught to her by the Catholic church. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And she pushes herself physically and mentally as often as she can. She is an avid cyclist who bikes hundreds of miles a year and hikes around the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sally and Awake\u2019s founder, Larson, agree that Bridge Dialogues is not a program for everyone and there will never be a single program or solution that will heal the deep wounds caused by the Catholic church\u2019s history of abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Although Sally still distrusts the church, she said Bridges has helped her reconnect with her spirituality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI have a beautiful relationship with the divine,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Awake anticipates having a monthly Bridge Dialogues program. The next one is scheduled for Dec. 5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Editor’s note: To find more information about the Bridge Dialogue program visit <\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/awakecommunity.org\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>awakecommunity.org<\/em><\/a><em>. <\/em><br><br><em>The Wisconsin Department of Justice started a Clergy and Faith Leader Abuse initiative in 2021. People can find support for victims and survivors of sexual abuse by clergy and faith leaders in Wisconsin. To report current and past abuse call 1-877-222-2620 or report abuse using the <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/supportsurvivors.widoj.gov\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>online reporting tool.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A participant of the new Bridge Dialogues program, which brings together survivors of clergy abuse and non-offending priests, said it is a small step toward healing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":296575,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"byline":{"profiles":[{"type":"byline_id","atts":{"term_id":29,"post_id":88102}}]},"wp_curate_deduplication":false,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"_tribe_blocks_recurrence_rules":"","_tribe_blocks_recurrence_description":"","_tribe_blocks_recurrence_exclusions":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_type":0,"wpr_audio_url":"","wpr_audio_duration":0,"wpr_post_dek_text":"The new Bridge Dialogues program in Milwaukee utilizes a restorative justice style initiative for abuse survivors ","wpr_sourcing":[],"wpr_featured_image_caption":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[175,1,196],"source":[15648],"region":[9],"byline":[29],"class_list":["post-296487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-justice","category-news","category-religion","source-wpr-news","region-southeastern"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v23.3 (Yoast SEO v23.3) - 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